Beyonce’s tour rider has been leaked, and to no astonishment whatsoever it does an excellent job at dispelling rumors that she’s down-to-earth and a completely normal human being.

Ladies and gentlemen, she is not a human being she is Wealth Personified™.

Because unlike your average (read: broke) singers whom go on tour and request M&Ms and soda, Mrs. Carter has bigger, more ludicrous demands that reveal her life has no effin’ limitations:

Possibly the strangest request on the leaked rider is $900 worth of drinking straws for her dressing rooms. “The Single Ladies singer forked out $900 for titanium straws, which will be used to drink a special alkaline water that’s served at exactly 21 degrees,” an insider tells The FIX.

And the demands just keep getting stranger and more neurotic:

According to the source, the 31-year-old also insists her crew, from drivers to set riggers, wear only 100 per cent pure cotton, presumably to save her from allergic reactions. 

And she even has color-coded demands which makes me feel she’s somewhat akin to the US government in terms of causing high levels of stress:

Bey also demands plain off-white walls in her dressing rooms, with a new toilet seat at every event, and will only use red toilet paper. 

And because she loves a cold throat, she needs this item at all times:

There’s also the hand-carved ice-ball to suck after every performance to cool her throat, along with the banning of junk food in favour of glass platters of almonds, oatcakes and green-only crudités.

But she’s not completely selfish, as the Texan has outrageous demands for her family as well:

It’s not the first time Beyonce’s tour demands have been leaked. During her March Super Bowl performance, rumours emerged that the star had demanded her baby Blue Ivy’s $22,000 cedar crib be shipped from New York to New Orleans, and her personal dressing room be stocked with $6,000 worth of imported cigars and alcohol for her husband Jay-Z.

But don’t judge her, people. These items are necessities not basis for condemnation for her affluent lifestyle:

The superstar reportedly feels these drastic measures are integral to the smooth-running of her performances.“She’s extremely regimented and is taking everything extremely seriously, so she expects her list of demands to be adhered too and every detail be taken in,” the insider claims. “Working so hard and with the toll the travel takes on her body in addition to the intense shows, she feels that her requests aren’t too much to ask for as she wants to ensure everything goes to plan.”

For those of you that’s keeping score, in the Game of Life™ that’s 1 zillion points for Beyonce, and -100 for you.


By Carla St. Louis (@SheWrittes007)

Source: IDontLikeYouInThatWay