After being trolled on the Internet once People Magazine ranked her as the Most Beautiful Woman In The World™ , Gwyneth Paltrow maybe having the Worst Week Ever™ as the Interwebs are alleging she’s having an affair with Shawn “Jay-Z” Carter.
The Two Liter Dick™ strikes again.
This set of two married couples is A list and they always used to do everything together. It was always a strange pairing of couples, but it seemed to work for them. Over the past year though, there have only been two occasions and on both, the wife of the lesser known celebrity male was not there. reason? She told her husband that she has a thing for the more well known celebrity male. There have even been rumors the pair hooked up.
Beyonce, Jay-Z, Chris Martin and Goopy?
Although Paltrow initially seemed to be Team Beyonce for the past two years, sharing laughs at the Oscar Awards and Grammy Awards, name-dropping her in nearly every interview, revealing their closeness and altogether shared blonde ambitions, Beyonce’s taken a back seat to her new found obsession: namely, Jay-Z.
Gwyneth Paltrow doesn’t have any problems namedropping her celebrity friends during interviews (Mario Batali, Madonna, etc.), not that she should! […] But there’s one person Gwyneth tends to mention more than any other — BFF Jay-Z. If you don’t believe us, check out this list of all of the times the Iron Man 3 star has name-checked Hova in the press.
So much in fact that Vulture decided to round-up her most memorable admiration for Mr. Carter that begs the question: Is all her love for Hov because he Gave Her The D™?
* “I don’t hold on to fear as much as I used to, because I’ve learned a lot about genuinely not caring what strangers think about me,” Gwyneth told Harper’s Bazaar this month, teeing up her latest Jay mention. “It’s very empowering, and I’ve learned a lot of that from Jay — Shawn Carter — Z, because his approach to life is very internal. It’s a very good lesson to learn.”
* That’s not the first time Gwyneth has spoken of Jay in such reverential tones. “Jay is one of the people I respect most in the world,” she told interviewer Steve Stoute, “and he’s such an iconoclast in so many ways.”
* In fact, Hova’s basically become part of the family. “Jay is like a big brother figure to me,” she told Now, adding, “The kids call him Uncle Jay and Beyoncé, Auntie B.”
* Gwyneth freely uses the nickname herself.
* And clearly, Jay-Z has attained “favorite uncle” status. (Sorry, actual uncle Jake Paltrow.) Paltrow told Harper’s that her son Moses is “obsessed with hip-hop and wanted a chain like his Uncle Jay.”
* Sometimes she invites Jay over for dinner, and other times they go on double dates with Chris and Beyoncé, since the two couples are exactly alike: “Chris and I are like Jay and Beyonce: two paranoid ironists and two calm, grounded people,” she told The Sun.
* Gwyneth declared the birth of Jay’s daughter Blue Ivy to the universe …
* Gwyneth and Jay-Z have continued their friendapalooza on each others’ websites. “You are the coolest man on Earth, how the f did you get like that?” she asked Jay-Z on her own site, Goop, adding, “As someone who has walked through museums with you, eaten with you, heard music with you, I know firsthand how creativity in all areas lifts your consciousness.”
* Meanwhile, on Jay’s site Life and Times, Gwyneth took the opportunity to impress him with her extensive knowledge of hip-hop history. “It was an accident that I learned every word of ‘Straight Outta Compton’ and to love something that a.) I had no real understanding of in terms of the culture that it was emanating from and b.) to love something that my parents literally could not grasp,” she told him. “But I was hooked. I can’t remember what I ate for dinner last night but I could sing to you every single word of N.W.A’s ‘Fuck Tha Police’ or ‘It Takes Two.’”
And Hov’s crew of People Whom Are Richer Than You™ definitely came to his bestie’s defense when she reached her comfort zone with Black folks and casually Tweeted, “Niggas in Paris for real…” at his concert in France last year.
Days later, The Dream found himself defending Gwyneth on twitter while stating that the African American community is beginning to give the word too much power:
[unedited] Y’all still on that s–t! Y’all Give “N—a To Much power” somewhere the actual racist People are Laughing there asses off, so much energy. Let that Word hold power over me but yet use it as Power. Those same slaves Great,Great grands are Wiser now and Free! I’m not Saying don’t forget but be logical and use common sense. If it meant the Same as it Did then WE wouldn’t use it, that would make us ignorant We USE IT because Evidently it doesn’t mean the same if u really give a s–t u stop using it. Sure Attack her you know she’s not going to do anything, you know in your heart she didn’t mean it in anyway. The world is just full of Bull shitters who act like they give a shit haven’t did one righteous act in there lives. Its a Hot Topic because people ain’t got s–t To Do! Period. Say what u want. No one called Trayvon N—a before he shot him it was an action. Racism is an Action! What! WE GIVE THE WORD TO MUCH POWER! Any way N—az! What’s GOOD
Russell [Simmons] also came to Gwyneth’s defense in a blog posted on Global Grind and shared Jay-Z’s feelings on her racist remark:
In the case of “N*ggas in Paris,” it is clear that these two poets are celebrating the fact that they now travel the world and are literally ballin’ in Paris … it started as a badge of honor, something to be proud of, something to poke their chests out at. Because for them, when they were kids, Paris was a million miles away and now it’s a private jet ride. The idea of being in Paris with a movie star, whether she’s black or white, is incredible!
There is something truly inspiring about black culture and black music, hip-hop culture and hip-hop music. No matter what color skin you might have, there is an overriding good effect that this music has on you. It is contagious. It was this explosive expression that spread out of the inner cities of America into the walkmans of kids like Gwyneth Paltrow during their childhoods in 1980s and 1990s. It allowed white kids to begin to sympathize with the plight of many in black America. Having any Hollywood starlet at your concert was unimaginable, and having her quote your lyrics as a badge of honor that she was hanging out with you, you never would have dreamed of that – until your poetry hit the market and changed the world.
So, for Gwyneth to tweet out her excitement about hip-hop taking over the planet is a good thing. She didn’t mean any harm, she just was trying to ball so hard, and like Jay-Z says, “motherfuckers can’t fine” her.
What do you think: Did Gwyneth Paltrow pull the ultimate power move by befriending Beyonce just to get to Hov? Did Jay-Z give her the D? Somewhere, are Rihanna and Kim Kardashian laughing from their souls while smoking a joint shrieking, “And you were worried about us, Bey?”
By Carla St. Louis (SheWrites007)
Source: Crazy Days And Nights (via DListed), Vulture, Global Grind (via Necole Bitchie), Google Images
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