Its a new season of Love & Hip Hop Atlanta and y’all know what this show has done in the past, and in season three, they’ve managed to outdo themselves with marriages, babies, a sex tape and a shooting. What else is there??? Let’s go over all the monkeyfoolishness of episode one. First, meet the Jordans. Stevie J.’s new home, a.k.a. “The White House.”
“So many rooms, I can’t even count,” Stevie says in voiceover. What matters is that he and his beloved Puerto Rican Princess, Joseline Hernandez-Jordan are no longer shacked up there with him…. Shes married y’all. The Michelle to his Barack as Stevie likes to put it. Over eggs and champagne, Stevie and Joseline discuss their newleyweddedness(lets pause who has champagne for breakfast), but Joseline doesn’t feel like much of a wifey. “It feels like we’re still dating,” she tells Stevie. Even though she feels that way, she defiantly tells us, “I AM Mrs. Jordan. This bitch is officially off the market.”
One problem though: they got married at the courthouse, but Joseline still wants a big, white ceremony (presumably to match their big, white house).
“Where’s my dress? Where’s my mamacitas with the flow-wers?”And as Joseline explains, “What the baddest bitch wants, the baddest bitch gets.”
Before they can plan a wedding though, Stevie has plans for their first joint-post-marital birthday party together. With that said, seems like Joseline and Stevie might be ready for more breakfast, and in this case, breakfast IS a euphemism for sex.
Rasheeda and Kirk Frost are back together… Well sort of. Rasheeda had her baby Carter during the off season. She had kicked Kirk out last year for his transgressions. But she brought him back in to help raise her son, though they are not romantically involved. M&M, who has five other kids, also doesn’t get along with Rasheeda’s mom. Yawn. Kirk is one tedious human being.
“I don’t know if we can be back in a really good place.” Says Rasheeda
Sex tape time! Nikko and Shower Rod Queen Mimi reunited and they are in non-marital bliss. They even like making sex tapes, which by the way blew Social Media up with the shower rod joke. I still want to know what brand they had. Then there’s the flakey story that Nikko’s bags were stolen and as a result, a sex tape was “leaked” to mediatakeout.com. But the video looks too professional to just be made on the fly. So this whole story sounds like lies.com. She does cry on demand when she “finds out,” Great showmenship Mimi.
Waka Flocka Flame and his Fiance Tammy Rivera are the new Jones on the block. The Atlanta hip-hop star and his beau have been engaged for seven months. They are introduced to the audience as new cast members and while he has not been consistently faithful, he makes a vow to be loyal going forward.
Finally Scrappy is out of rehab and out of Erica’s life. So he’s dating a girl named Bambi who loves him. But he doesn’t love her. Or at least he’s not there yet (and probably will never be). Momma Dee is back with the monkeyfoolishness and warns Bambi that he (Scrappy) always keeps extra eggs in his basket. She gets (rightfully) paranoid.
Karlie Redd and Yung Joc are not yet introduced. And we don’t hear anything from Benzino yet. Erica is dating, too, but we don’t meet him.
Number of fight 0. But remember thing are just getting started in due time things will get juicy again.
Tune in every Monday at 8 PM to catch all the shenanigans.