The permanently fractured group is still in New Orleans choosing to continue old story-lines as opposed to enjoying the moment. Which brings me to this question: Have these broads ever heard of “Carpe Diem?” This episode is indeed stagnant and redundant so I’m only recapping significant scenes. However, the highlight of this episode is two cast mates managed to resolve a main storyline within the first ten minutes of the show! Thus, a celebratory ‘Mazel!’ is in order. Shall we?
Gloria: ‘Yo! Weren’t you in the Nutty Professor?! That’s what’s up!’
The first clip finds the women learning to cook traditional New Orleans food from a professional chef who resembles Father Klump from the Nutty Professor. Draya isn’t in attendance because she’s nursing a massive hangover from the previous night after being “too turnt up.” While cooking, Jackie’s daughter sends her a text letting her know that she spoke with Laura. Clearly, knowing her daughter’s issues against her, Jackie automatically thinks negative comments were said about her. Jackie interviews, “You are going to the most extreme things on Earth to fuck with me. Why?” to which I rebuttal, “Jackie, why didn’t you ask your daughter what she told Gloria?” Granted, Gloria’s intentions were awful, but it was Jackie’s daughter, Chantel who felt so frustrated with her own mother that she had to spill the tea on her. Jackie needs to privately address with Chantel why she felt such animosity towards her that led her to such an act. Also, why does Jackie have temporary amnesia about her actions during season one? It’s as if because she’s apologized–again, worst unaccountable and contrived apology in history; it’s second to Draya’s non-apology to Brooke–the cast and the viewing public must eradicate all memories of her manipulative behavior out of our minds.
Jackie: ‘Did my daughter tell you how much of a monster I am?’
Once the women sit down in order to eat their meals, Jackie, inappropriately, asks Laura in front of everyone what were her intentions in calling her daughters. Oy vey. You’re expecting crazy drama, right? Wrong: Laura shuts it down and politely asks the other women to leave so she can discuss her issue with Jackie. I ask you, who saw that act of lucid maturity coming? I know I didn’t; I definitely was expecting some tension-filled H.A.M. event, so kudos to Laura for diffusing the situation! Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the resolution to this season’s main storyline all achieved in less than five minutes: In a complete 180, Laura admits her intentions at the time in wanting to speak with Jackie’s daughters was wrong but admits to changing her feelings about her motives after witnessing Chantel’s hurt-filled words against her parents. Then, Gloria genuinely apologizes for her intent to be spiteful towards Jackie and never reveals any of the negative albeit true comments said by Chantel to Jackie. Winner: Laura, for being a fully matured adult.
Brooke and that damn speakerphone…
Before we get to the next scene, it’s imperative to note that Brooke is a sneaky broad. Exhibit A: She will–unknowingly to you–put you on speakerphone when having a conversation. Brooke, Draya, and Gloria are hanging out discussing Draya’s manager, Marcus. Apparently, Gloria saw him and spoke to him while in New Orleans. Channeling Malaysia’s nosiness and being generally clueless, she rationalizes that Draya is working gigs (like conducting a radio interview) not bed-ridden from being inebriated like we previously seen in a three minute clip.
A bed-ridden Draya recovering from her hangover.
Brooke whose proven herself to not be Draya’s friend and possibly harboring deep-seated jealously towards her, calls her ‘friend’ while on speakerphone. She confronts her on the phone asking if she’s doing promotional work and Draya tells her ‘no.’ She calls Marcus and sneakily draws the answer she’s looking for by saying, “We were here for another day, and I just wanted to do some radio shows that Draya did. What was the name [of the radio show] again?” Winner: Draya, for having the good sense to back away from Brooke’s ‘friendship’ episodes ago.
The next scene has the women in a limo. The purpose of this session is to go shopping but they don’t make it after Draya confronts Gloria for calling her manager. Draya smartly explains it’s none of her business and its a conflict of interest for her to call her manager. Gloria admits she did it because she heard Draya was scheduled to do a radio interview. I’m assuming there’s a clause that prevents the cast from speaking to the media during taping. At some point the conversation retracts to Gloria and Bambi. The next thing I know, Bambi lunges for Gloria and Laura blocks her which prompts Bambi to interview about Gloria that she’s “immature,” “childish,” “butts in” and “this has nothing to do with you.” She doth protests too much considering she just described herself and Malaysia. After everyone is off the bus, Bambi tells Malaysia that she has no problem fighting Gloria and going to jail because she referring to Malaysia has money. “You’ll bail me out,” Bambi affirmed to Malaysia.
Draya’s eyes’ read: ‘I am completely over you and this friendship. Also, I’m being considered to be Prince’s new Vanity. Deal with it.’
As per her agreement with VH1 and Shaunie O’Neal protocol, Malaysia being the meddlesome individual that she is brings everyone together to “hash it out.” Because she’s an excellent friend, Brooke calls Draya “pathetic” in regards to King Magazine-gate, and Draya explains she irreparably tore their friendship apart by bringing it to such a nasty place of name-calling and bickering. Draya furthered that by constantly addressing their issue with everyone else as if forcing people to pick sides made it very difficult to continue a friendship with her. It’s at this moment I realize that Brooke maybe jealous of Draya, and what’s really causing her grief is the fact that Draya truly doesn’t care about landing the cover of King Magazine because she has other opportunities. At one point Brooke stands up while shouting at Draya causing Draya to ask, “Why are you standing? Just sit down.” While both women are attempting to decipher the death of their friendship, Malaysia repeatedly interrupts them and actually screams while Brooke is speaking, “Hey! Shut the fuck up!” Is she serious?! Why does she think her words act as the sole word to any disagreement? Winner: Draya for not allowing Brooke to get the best of her.
Bambi: ‘Listen, Gloria. I’m not going to tell you to your face that I hate you because you slept my guy friends–that I may have wanted–I’ll leave that for the interviews and reunion. Instead, I’ll just pretend that you stating the obvious, i.e., that I don’t know anything about Jackie & Laura’s beef, bothers me. Even though when you’re sister, Laura says it to me I nod in agreement. I’m Compton like that.’
Of course, Brooke and Draya’s confrontation of their issue leads to Gloria and Bambi’s issue being re-hatched for the umpteenth time. Again, Gloria rationally explains her points to in regards to Bambi’s issue with her–and frankly, if you want a recap of it click here because it’s so pointless that I’m not going to address it. Apparently, now Bambi understands what Gloria was saying two-three episodes later but not really because she interviews that she still won’t like Gloria even after they walk away. Oy vey. Winner: Gloria since logic always wins against stupidity.
Jackie: ‘Give me a moment; I’m attempting to manipulate empathy from my cast mates & the audience. I hope this works…’
Jackie uses this moment to give a monologue on how her daughters mean the world to her, why she does things out of love, why she’s an excellent mother, and etcetera etcetera. The resident cast mates suffering from some form of arrested development, i.e., Malaysia, Draya, and Bambi are completely suckered by Jackie’s words and start crying. Draya says, “If u are not touched listening to Jackie something is wrong with you” clearly referring to Laura and Gloria who aren’t buying her act crying. It’s hilarious to watch because it’s obvious that Jackie is only saying these comments because she’s already assumed that her daughter, Chantel said the complete opposite of said remarks to Laura. it’s not a confessional; it’s a reaffirmation of lies. Bambi ends this season with her smartest words to date: “I think things will forever be divided. Laura has crossed a line with Jackie; Brooke has proved that she doesn’t want to hear anything Draya has to say, and Malaysia will still be that person who tries to mend friendships.”
Exhibit A of a Professional Liar: Notice how she’s not crying at all.
Unfortunately for Jackie, the Govan sisters aren’t buying it.
Source: VH1
By Carla St. Louis (@SheWrites007)
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