10 Rappers We Wish Weren’t In Prison
Well, it’s official:
T.I. reported to the judge today to plead guilty to his weapons
charges, and got formally sentenced to a year and a day (which could
well end up being less when time served on house arrest gets taken into
consideration). Clifford gets to voluntarily head to jail sometime
after May 19, which gives him a couple of months extra to finish making
the world a better place.
Needless to say, we’re making sad-face emoticons over here at
Complex; not only is the civilian population losing one of the
South’s finest lyricists and a genuinely smart and likable dude,
but it’s just one more objectively great emcee who gets chalked
into the “Incarcerated” category. There’s more than
20 rappers locked up right now, but since we don’t really fux
with shermhead cannibals, we had to narrow it down to our 10 favorite (including Tip). For a look at the other nine, read on…
CHI ALI
• Crime: Murder
• Incarceration Location: Elmira Correctional Facility
• Why We Miss Him: Who else got to be down with
Native Tongues when they were 16? That shit was like Harry Potter
levels of crazy for adolescent rap heads in the ’90s.
TRAGEDY
• Crime: Criminal sale of a controlled substance in the fourth degree
• Incarceration Location:Riker’s Island, NYC
• Why We Miss Him: He pioneered naming yourself
after an international despot. If the Intelligent Hoodlum hadn’t
become Tragedy Khadafi, we wouldn’t have legends like Noreaga,
let alone MC Slobodan Milosevic (he’s serbin’ fools!).
PRODIGY
• Crime: Gun possession
• Incarceration Location: Gouverneur Correctional Facility, New York
• Why We Miss Him: Thankfully, we have his third eye shining on us through the internetz,
so it’s almost like he’s still here–but we still miss
that gruff-ass voice. He and Alc are like the Julius and Vincent of
this rap game.
TURK
• Crime: Second-degree attempted murder, firearm possession
• Incarceration Location: Shelby County Jail, Memphis
• Why We Miss Him: Because without Turk, we’re denied our Hot Boy fix. Uh, pause.
NUMSKULL
• Crime: 15 felony charges, including rape, sodomy, and “forced oral copulation”
• Incarceration Location: Santa Rita Jail, Dublin CA (last confirmed location)
• Why We Miss Him: He still owes us 5 bucks!
SHYNE
• Crime: First-degree assault and wreckless endangerment. Or, in common parlance, “taking the fall for Puff.”
• Incarceration Location: Woodbourne Correctional Facility, NY
• Why We Miss Him: Moses Michael Leviy might be
the hardest Jewish cat in the bing behind Bernie Madoff, but
Hanukkah’s just not the same without him.
DMX
• Crime: Aggravated assault while serving a 90-day sentence for drug possession, theft and animal cruelty. No comment.
• Incarceration Location: Tent City Jail, Arizona
• Why We Miss Him: Who else are we supposed to get our political commentary from?
BLACK ROB
• Crime: Grand Larceny
• Incarceration Location: Riker’s? Elmira? Woodburne? He’s been everywhere by now, so your guess is as good as ours.
• Why We Miss Him: It’s more that
we’re just worried we’ll never see him again. After all,
this is the guy who said “if I go to jail again I’m going
under the bing”…
MYSTIKAL
• Crime: Extortion, sexual battery
• Incarceration Location: Elayne Hunt Correctional Facility, Louisiana
• Why We Miss Him: Listening to Mystikal was like
hanging out with Saafir the Saucee Nomad after he drank a case of Red
Bull. This dude raps so damn enthusiastically it sounds like he might
fuck around and mow your lawn at any second. With his teeth.
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