CONFUSION
Have you ever been confused about life? Just confused with your self and not
really knowing, or understanding, exactly what the hell you’re doing?
Well guys, that’s how I feel right now. It’s like I’m working
so hard…and sometimes I feel like I’m going in circles. But, you
see, I’m so fast to keep shit moving, that sometimes I don’t even
give myself a chance to sit back and reflect on what I’m doing; and I’m
left confused. Have you ever felt this way?

They say be careful what you pray for, cause you just might get it…well,
they were right. For years I’ve prayed for so many things that I thought
or think I want…and for the first time, after so many years of prayer…it’s
been answered. Now that it’s been answered…I’m not even sure
what to do with it, because I’m confused. You might be saying, “What
the hell is this girl talking about?”, but I don’t know; because
I’m confused. It’s to the point now, where, I’m getting PISSED.
I’m tired of being nice, I’m tired of being taken advantage of…and
I can feel myself transforming into a real BITCH.

STRUGGLE
Life is crazy…they say appreciate life, but will somebody tell me; how
can you appreciate life when every day, and every thing is a struggle? And not
for nothing…I would really like to know, because I haven’t mastered
that yet. I’m just being honest with you guys…because you are my
readers; and right now, I just want ya’ll to know that your girl is confused.

To all of my people that feel caught up in a struggle right now…baby,
you are NOT alone. This struggle is hard…and long; so long that sometimes
you just feel like giving up. A lot of people think that being caught up in
the struggle consist of one thing…no, there are multiple struggles. To
me, the ultimate struggle is battling with trying to be your self (without being
judged) in today’s world. Okay, so while trying to not let that aspect
fuck you all up in the head…then you have your spiritual struggle; that’s
when you’ve been through so much shit, you don’t know what you think
about God or anything that religion be hollering about…all while trying
to keep your faith. On top of that you have the struggle of dealing with people
and their crazy asses (yeah, I’m one of them). Oh no, don’t get
me started with the struggle of being broke; trying to make a dollar out of
15 cent…literally; all while trying to make something out of your self…with
no real support backing you. Trust me, I know all about it.

FLIP SIDE
It’s hard living in this material world. Every day feeling like you have
to impress someone, on top of battling with all your personal issues’…this
shit is crazy! And confusing…sometimes you don’t know whether you’re
coming or going. I know, I’ve been there, and I’m still there. You
know, they tell us that we have to keep our head up. They tell us, there is
light at the end of the tunnel. They tell us that struggle will make us stronger.
They tell us to let go and let God. Still, after all the things that “they”
tell us…after a while, after hearing the same “inspirational”
speeches for so long…they stop working. After going through so much, starts
to make me wonder if life has favoritism.

MUSIC
But you know what…if you are going through a struggle…and you’re
looking for some music that you feel can relate to what you’re going through…go
out and get that Lupe Fiasco. I found his album to be refreshing and comforting…and
if you’re really caught up in the STRUGGLE appose to being caught up in
the HYPE…then you should find the same thing I did with his album.

At any rate…I’m still confused.
To be continued…

“As quick as time goes…is as fast as it ends.”

-Karima Latifah